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How I Fit It All In

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How I Fit It All In

I’m not going to close down my Facebook account.

I’ve been kicking it around.  In fact, I even did that two-week thing where you can shut it down–but not quite all the way–and then bring it back up within two weeks if you change your mind.

I almost made it the two weeks!

One thing keeps calling me back.  People.

“Well, duh,” you say, “that’s what Facebook is all about.”

It’s not that I’m afraid I’m going to lose connections or miss out on the gossip of the day. The part that’s eating at me when I try to quit is the way God has used it to allow me to minister to my Facebook friends.

At least once a month, often times much more than that, I get a message in my inbox or a note on my wall that goes something like this:

“Sarah!  HOW do you do it? I only have two kids and I’m trying to homeschool and I’m going crazy!  You have NINE! You have time to write and do crafts and your house is even clean. You must be REALLY patient!”

I get these messages so often that I’ve thought about writing up a series of blogs with all the responses I’ve given and then just directing the inquirer to the appropriate link.

I think my answers are generally the same answers that other women with a similar lifestyle would give. I haven’t got a ton of patience and I’m definitely not super mom. I’ve just figured out a few things that have made this large family homeschooling thing run a little bit  more smoothly than it used to.

I think the number one change I’ve made is to stop trying to be a people -pleaser.

Church ministry teams, homeschool leadership boards, thinly-disguised guilt trips from friends and family:  this problem used to manifest itself in so many different ways, but it always came down to me doing what others wanted me to do.  All the while, the things I was supposed to be doing were suffering.

Once I realized that I didn’t need to do all those outside activities to have a ministry, my life became so much more peaceful and productive. I became organized.  I developed a structure to our daily lives that included all the things I had always wanted to do with our homeschooling that I’d never had time for before.

The best step I took toward getting myself to the place where I felt good about our homeschool and our routine was setting up my boundaries.  The day I became a wife, my ministry was set out for me.  The day I became a mother, my ministry was added to.  I don’t need those outside ministries and they don’t need me.  I’m not the right person for the job right now because my plate is full here at home.

It blesses me to see the eyes of my Facebook friends being opened when I explain that simple truth to them.  It’s like they now have confirmation of all God put on their hearts.  A ministry at home as a spouse and a homeschooling parent is a wonderful blessing.  I would argue it’s the best blessing next to salvation!

About Carlie Kercheval

Carlie Kercheval is a happily married work-at-home homeschooling mom. She and her college sweetheart have been blessed with 3 precious children to raise while traveling the world as a military family. Carlie is the founder of Today's Frugal Mom™ and Managing Your Blessings. She is also the co-author of the Learning to Speak Life™ family Bible studies and co-founder of Fulfilling Your Vows. When she is not busy enjoying her family and the great outdoors, you can typically find her cozied up somewhere under a blanket with a good book. You can connect with her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.


  1. I just Love this post! My whole life has been about pleasing others. I know deep in my heart God’s plan for me. I know there is this straight path laid out, but it’s so hard. I am training up my kids, that is a priority sooooo many of my friends just don’t get. Especially with my youngest being on the Spectrum. It’s so nice to connect with someone who feels they have a Ministry right in their own home! Amen to thata

  2. I have discovered this same thing, though putting it into practise has proven more difficult at some times than others. Sometimes I slip back into that role of trying to be everything to everybody, which means I can’t truly be mom to my kids and wife to my husband. At those times, I am usually reminded either by my husband or by the evidence of my own weariness over trying to do too much and I have to re-learn how to say “no”. I always remind myself that saying “yes” to something always means saying “no” to something else. I’m glad you are able to pass the message along to other moms about how important their ministry at home is.

    • Sarah Coller says:

      High emotions, low energy—God gives us signs that we may be doing too many of the wrong things. We have to slow down long enough to pay attention to those signals though!

  3. Hi, my name is Molly and I’m a people pleaser. I’m always letting what other people think dictate what I should do, or how I should be. Last week, after almost a year of pain, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I think I’ve really had it for a decade but after my daughter’s birth, my body went totally haywire. A couple months ago, I felt God release me from the need to please other people. I just can’t do it anymore. I have a 6 year who is in Kindergarten, a 3 year old who tags along, and a 10 month baby. I also have a husband who works 55 hours a week. I made a list of priorities and if anything conflicts with it, I can’t do it. Its been freeing, but I still have to have to work on it.

  4. I too am a people-pleaser, and it’s SO hard to say no for me. But you are so right! My husband and kids have to come first. When they do, our life is good, but when I’m trying to do too many things at once, then all of a sudden someone is suffering–my family. Because I always give more of myself to others than to those closest to me who need and love me most. I have to start saying no to work that I just can’t do right now and say yes to ministering fully to my family.
    Thanks for this timely post!


  5. Oh i agree totally! Our family is our ministry. However, I also felt that if I wanted my children to be able to be in the nursery or attend Sunday School or VBS or Awana, that I did need to be involved in some sort of ministry at church.

    After all, I was asking one of the moms to teach my children in her Sunday School class. But who would teach HER children? I felt like I needed to volunteer because we are supposed to use the gifts God has given us to serve the Body of Christ as well.

    So while I have always considered my children my ministry, I have also always been involved in some sort of outside ministry as well. Using the gifts God has given me to serve and build up the Body.

  6. I am working on these very things this summer. Get organized, establish better routines/schedule, focus better on what needs to be done today. Thank you for your encouraging words!